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America's happy to invade for oil..why complain when it is delivered free by BP?
How does the US government have the cheek to complain about this leaking oil? Usually they're happy to invade anywhere they fancy to stock up their reserves, so you'd think they'd be grateful for a few million barrels delivered to their coast.
Now, instead of bothering the army, they only need the unemployed and a few saucepans and they can scoop up enough for a whole weekend for free.
Americans love oil - 23% of the world's consumption is by the US, although they amount to only 4% of the world's population. Maybe that's why they're so upset about this leak. They see clogged pelicans and dead fish and think: "It's heartbreaking - look at all that wasted oil."
As well as the claims being made against BP for ruined beaches and lost tourism, they'll probably demand compensation for the trauma suffered by Americans having to watch their beloved oil wasted every night on the news.
The US government's new enthusiasm for holding companies to account for environmental disaster might be encouraging if they were likely to see it through.
For the next company in their sights should be Halliburton, whose concrete casing to BP's pipeline appears to have contributed to the damage, especially as a similar one they installed in the Timor Sea cracked in the same way.
Halliburton, whose chairman used to be President George W Bush's deputy Dick Cheney, was awarded £12billion worth of contracts for rebuilding Iraq after the US invasion. The government did the bombing, then a company close to the government made a fortune putting things back up again.
But Halliburton hasn't been told off yet. Nor have Union Carbide, the US company whose pesticide plant leaked deadly gas across the Indian town of Bhopal in 1984, killing more than 2,200 people immediately and at least another 1,500 since.
In the subsequent legal cases it emerged maintenance at the plant was of a much lower quality than at similar plants in the US. The safety systems were routinely switched off to save money. But the only compensation paid by the company has been the amount received from the insurers. Warren Anderson, chief executive of Union Carbide at the time, was bailed by the Indian courts, who wanted him on trial.
While on bail he left for the US, never to return. No US administration appears to have complained to him about this, despite the image America sometimes likes to convey as a bastion of law and order. But just as this new American hardline approach to corporate responsibility appears a tad hypocritical, there are Brits being just as ridiculous.
Boris Johnson accused Barack Obama of being "petulant" with such outrage you wondered if he was going to fly to the England-USA match, to lead a song of: "It bursts through pipes, wrecks your stars and stripes, British oil, British oil."
Suddenly pro-Americans are changing their minds. Up until now the behaviour of these companies has only ruined people, but now it's more serious - it's damaging share prices. It's not always easy to win sympathy for oil executives so instead the claim is if BP shares fall, it's the pensioners who'll suffer.
A spokesman for "city investors" said Obama is "holding his boot on the throats of British pensioners".
Because all those investors ever think about is the plight of British pensioners. Whenever a share price goes up they shout: "Thank goodness for that. Now Mrs Mulligan who lives on the estate I can see from my office will be able to afford a packet of biscuits when her grandson comes round."
There's an attempt to make this an issue of national pride, but the majority of British people, like the majority of Americans, have no reason to identify with oil companies that make unimaginable profits without taking a lot more care than they seem to.
And if this was an issue of Britain versus the US, BP chief executive Tony Hayward would have said: "Well I thought I had the oil covered and I went to grab it and the next thing it's slipped and it's in the back of the Gulf and it's just one of them things and we've all got to move on."